


A Fishing Trip

by beatlesgrl



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cheating, F/M, I don't want to spoil the ending, M/M, it's a brokeback mountain AU, so no more tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-06
Updated: 2014-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-11 08:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1171087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatlesgrl/pseuds/beatlesgrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He still couldn’t believe he mailed the letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fishing Trip

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [sterek AU](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/35468) by possiblywonderful. 



_Dear Derek, I know you probably don’t want to hear from me ever again, but I just….I needed to try. Just one more time. Just once before I forget about you and everything I don’t deserve._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

He still couldn’t believe he mailed the letter. 

He didn’t deserve Derek, not after saying no to him, then going back anyways, then not speaking to him. He knew that after his dad got ‘fired’ and the move and Heather and Mary, he shouldn’t want something he couldn’t have. 

But oh did he want. 

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_The first time I saw you, I thought you were completely amazing. You showed yourself as just being so strong, so stoic, so solid, I thought nothing could blow you down. Winds could knock around you, and you’d just tilt your chin to the skies with your little smug smirk and say, “Is that all you’ve got?”_

_I didn’t realize until later, after our time on the mountain and the two years afterwards, that you were knocked down. Knocked down by my foolishness._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Life went on for Stiles. 

He spent his days doing odd jobs around the town, the rumors of why he came here didn’t follow him thank goodness. He spent time with his daughter, Heather refusing to talk to him. It seemed like she was more hurt by the lies, less by the lack of love. 

Stiles wrote her a small letter almost every day, explaining his fears and apologizing for not being honest. 

She hasn’t responded, but he still had hope. 

His dad did small security jobs around the town, one day guarding the bank, the next temporary deputy for the sickly deputy. Stiles tried to apologize for forcing his dad to lose his job, but he never heard any of it. 

"You’re still Stiles." He’d always say, "They may not see that, but I do. You’re more than my job." 

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_Our fishing trips were both the best and worst thing to happen to me. Every year, I got to see you, pretend that this was the life I was really leading, and it made me so happy to live in this fantasy. However, whenever they ended, I was slammed back into the situation I had forced myself in all those years ago. There isn’t a day I thought of what would’ve happened if I had said yes._

_God, I wish I had said yes. Regardless of Heather, Mary, my father…I would’ve given it all up for you if I wasn’t so scared. I’m not scared anymore._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Two weeks after he had mailed that letter, he somehow landed a more permanent job, hauling hay in and out of an older man’s barn for his horses. 

One hour in the job, the farmer had asked him about the rumors from the other town. Stiles dropped his hay. 

Before he could answer, though, he saw another man come out of the farmhouse and wrap his arms around his waist from behind. He looked older than the farmer, but happier than he could ever imagine. 

Stiles sighed with relief and nodded. The farmer nodded and said if he ever came there, he’d be welcome a job. 

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_My father lost his job because of me. The one thing I was completely and utterly terrified of._

_At least, until I lost you._

_I was afraid that he’d come to me in anger. How dare you be queer, I thought he’d say. Instead, he told me that he didn’t care what I did in my bed, as long as I was happy._

_We’ve moved. I know I didn’t tell you that before, I didn’t think I deserved you._

_I still don’t think I deserve you._

_You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You bring something to my life that no one else before had done before. Your smile when I say just something idiotic, your laughter at my expense…_

_Remember the first fishing trip we had went on? How we got to the river and I was so excited to catch something, I set up my pole and the line caught a fast-moving log? It pulled me in so quickly and I got soaking wet, the fish nipping at my toes and fingers, and you were standing on the bank laughing._

_You looked so beautiful, so amazing, I knew I could never let you go. I couldn’t ever let you go in my heart._

_Even now, if you reject me, I don’t think I could even forget you._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Heather died at the end of his second week. Car accident, the coroner said. She was driving in between towns, probably to get her old things at their old house, when a pickup truck collided with her. 

She died instantaneously. 

Stiles’s only comforting thought was that Mary, their own little girl, was with him and dad that day at their house. 

It was hard to explain to Mary that mommy wasn’t coming back, ever. She cried for hours, but she refused to leave Stiles’s side. Like she knew that he was all she had left. 

He would never tell anyone, but he cried along with her, softly, feeling the loss of the only woman he could have maybe loved, if it hadn’t been for his summer job all those years ago. 

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

_I know there’s nothing I could ever say to win you back. There’s nothing I could ever do to show you what you mean to me._

_My father suggested that I write you this letter. Had I mentioned that yet? My dad is so ok with this, with me, he’s encouraging me to go for the person I love._

_I guess I haven’t said that at all this whole letter huh?_

_Derek, I love you. I love you so much it aches my heart when I wake up in the morning. Any time I see something that reminds me of you, I ache that much more. Every thing reminds me of you as well. The saddles that line the general store entrance reminds me of the one time we tried riding around the mountain naked, laughing and having the time of our lives. The 1970 Cadillac that looks uncannily like yours, with the black with white stripes, it sends my stomach into knots._

_I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my life. This feels like the kind of love that shouldn’t be so contained into one small person. This feels like the love that everyone in the world shares, and the Gods decided to put into my chest, rather than have anyone else have it._

_I love you more than the sun rising in the morning, I love you more than the moon coming out at night, I love you more than the Earth where it kisses the ocean, coming and going but never staying together._

_If you decide that I might be worth another shot, please…_

_I’ll love you until my dying breath,_

_Stiles S._

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Stiles awakes on the third Tuesday since he sent that letter, and he feels like he has no hope for anything left in this world. If he didn’t still have his dad’s love and Mary to look after… 

Well, he didn’t want to think about what he would do. 

He went about his day like he normally would, just with the knowledge of his past mistakes weighing his shoulders down. 

He returned to their house at the end of his work day, the sun just about to dip below its home in the sky, and he sees a black cadillac with white stripes pull into his driveway. The car pulls in haphazardly, like he couldn’t care less whether he was parked correctly, but the driver didn’t come out for a moment. 

Stiles stared at the driver of the familiar car, the feeling of something returning to his chest.

_Derek._

He gets out of the car, holding what looks like his letter in his hand, and he’s breathing fast, like he ran rather than drove there. 

"I just…I had to make sure." He says, "You’ve made a ton of mistakes. But so did I and I just… I have to be sure,” Derek says in a small but sincere voice. 

Stiles swallows the lump growing in his throat, walks closer to Derek, “Do you…Will you…” He knows he’s struggling, but he hasn’t seen Derek in months, he was a little amazed, “This is so hard for you, I know, but do you maybe wanna…try?” 

Derek nods, and Stiles is so relieved, he can feel it down to his very bones, to his soul maybe. He runs that extra distance and throws his arms around Derek, and his own arms wrapping tightly around Stiles. Stiles makes the jump, and Derek catches Stiles’s legs in his hands, the letter crunching under his thigh. 

But when Derek’s lips find his own, he can’t find the will to care that the thing he poured his heart into is being crushed. 


End file.
